Consent With Love – Lesson 1

Consent With Love - Lesson 1

SynClaire Arthur, M.S. & Mari Morales-Williams, Ph.D.
How long will the activity take for each lesson?
Summary: This first lesson was partially inspired by the hope to begin dismantling the notion of “you’re my child and therefore your business is my business and I can share it with whomever” that is often expressed and heard within Black mother/daughter relationships and the Black community at large. With that and the following objectives in mind, this lesson is intended to provide Black mothers and daughters with the opportunity to reflect on consent as it relates to privacy, autonomy, and safety within the mother/daughter relationship. 
Objectives:
  1. Mothers and daughters will have increased ability in identifying indicators of healthy love
  2. Mothers and daughters will be able to identify and maintain boundaries as a protective factor for building trust and deeper bonding
  3. Mothers and daughters will be able to restructure/reframe power dynamics within mother and daughter relationships.
Activity 1:
Mothers are humans, and all humans are a work in progress.  And in truth, we are all in the recovery of our childhoods, and mothers are no exception.  This activity is to help us both humanize mothers in order to reflect in healing and reframing power dynamics between Black mothers and daughters for deeper bonding and trust-building.   Below are examples of statements and feelings related to love and parenting on one side with a parallel statement or feeling on the other. The first can be identified as unhelpful or unhealthy while the latter is intended to be more optimal and healthy. Review and discuss these graphics.
Discussion Questions:
  • What feels most relatable in these graphics?
  • If you could add to the list of optimal/healthy responses to “re-parenting” and “emotionally mature”, what would they be?
Activity 2: Partner Poem.  This activity requires no pen or paper, just a mother and daughter sitting on chairs facing each other.  Each person takes their right hand and places it on the heart of the person in front.  Taking turns, fill in the sentence  “I feel loved when you…”.  Repeat this until each person has shared at least 5 ways in which they feel loved by the other person.

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