Blessing Our Mess With Love

Course Offering From Kara Coleman, MA SC

Getting Started

  • Appreciations & An Introduction
  • Purpose of the Course
  • How We’ll Spend This Time Together
  • What You’ll Need Before We Begin
    • Pen & paper for written exercises, notes, etc.
    • Comfortable, quiet space
    • Approximately 30 mins of free time
    • Printed course materials

Question 1: Why Focus on ‘Mess’?

Life is wonderful, but it can also be MESSY as hell!

It’s often full of challenges, crazy curveballs, and WTF moments that might leave us wondering if we can regain our footing or confidence.

But What if

  • Your struggles were necessary to acquire the wisdom and strength needed to live a more joyful, satisfying life?
  • You could find value in the things you find most challenging, disappointing, or embarrassing?

Question 2: What Does Mess Have to Do With Love?

Loving others well – the ability to lead with love & compassion – is based in self-love (aka loving thoughts & behaviors that nourish your body, mind & spirit).


  • Negative, self-limiting beliefs – arising from our struggles – are the main barrier to embracing self-love.
  • We often assume that our challenges somehow diminish our worth & our capacity to experience better.

Intention Setting

  1. What bag do you want to focus on setting down today?
  2. How has it been holding you back and/or slowing you down?
  3. What difference would letting go of that bag make for you?

Our Roadmap

The Script Flip Checklist

A guide for overcoming your negative narratives & finding VALUE in the mess that is or has been.

After the Overview…

  • You can continue to work with the Script Flip Checklist on your own using the presentation slides, course materials, etc.
  • Feel free to try out the sample exercises with different ‘bags’.

But Wait…There’s More!

Don’t miss joining me for the 6-week online Blessed by Mess course launching in Summer 2020!


  • Weekly live coaching beginning with goal-setting, plus one 90-minute session devoted to each Script Flip Checklist action step.
  • A lot more powerful exercises & resources to help propel you forward.
  • The opportunity to build supportive connections with others who are on a similar path.

For more information, contact me at

It’s Go Time!


  • Are you ready to change your narrative so that you can start changing your life for the better?
  • Are you excited to DO THIS!?


1.Validate your feelings with Self-Compassion


  • You have to feel it to heal it.
  • Resisting our feelings only intensifies them.
  • It lifts weight off our shoulders.
  • Hurt people hurt other people


  • Notice and acknowledge your feelings.
  • Treat yourself with kindness.
  • Prioritize your needs.


Journaling Your Feelings

  1. Review a copy of the Feeling Wheel that is included with the course materials. Use it as a reference to identify the feelings associated with your ‘bag’.
  2. Once you’ve identified your feelings, use these guiding prompts to express and lovingly affirm them in writing.

When I think of my bag & how it weighs me down…

  • I feel…(list as many feelings as you need to)
  • It’s understandable that I feel this way because…
  • I also know that I deserve consideration & kindness because…

2. Accept that you are not defined by past or present challenges


  • Focusing on past pain prevents us from moving forward.
  • Beating yourself up fuels anxiety & depression.
  • Dwelling on what went wrong often blinds us to what actually went right.


  • Recognize the toll dwelling on the past is taking.
  • Commit to living in the present.
  • Focus on who you are now or want to become vs. who you used to be.


Recognizing Your Inner Critic

Using the guiding questions provided, spend a few minutes tuning into your inner critic to help shift your perspective.

After you’ve completed the questions, ask yourself if you notice anything that may have shifted.

  • Did any new thoughts, feelings, or sensations arise that eased your negative self-judgment?

With your bag in mind, ask your Inner Critic the following questions:

  1. What are you trying to accomplish?
  2. What do you want FROM me?
  3. What do you want FOR me?
  4. What are you afraid might happen if I don’t listen to you?
  5. What would make it easier for you?
  6. What would make you feel safer?

3 . Lean into your hard-earned wisdom


  • Hardships often reveal important truths.
  • Being open to lessons will support better future choices.
  • It increases confidence & resilience.


  • Consider the lessons you learned from hard times.
  • Reflect on the skills, knowledge, resources you gained from your experiences. (How did your toolbox grow?)
  • Think about how those lessons & tools have benefited you or will help you in the future.


Charting Your Growth & Gains

Using the Growth & Gains Worksheet provided with the course materials, take a few minutes to identify (and appreciate) how your bag has fueled beneficial growth.

  • How did it provide you with greater insight or clarity?
  • In what ways did it make you more self-aware and compassionate?
  • What did it teach you about being more resilient?

4. Uplift and nourish yourself


  • Everything is harder when we feel drained & depleted.
  • You can’t pour from an empty cup.
  • Self-care & nourishment are the foundation of self-love


  • Choose to notice & minimize what depletes you.
  • Commit to more nourishing actions & activities.
  • Practice self-care daily, knowing it’s OK to crawl before you walk & run.


Recharging Our Batteries

  1. Make a list of your typical daily activities for workdays & non-work days.
  2. Note whether each activity nourishes or depletes you. (Label with an N or D.)
  3. Use the questions provided to identify ways to treat yourself to more nourishing, energizing experiences.
  • What do you notice about how many of your activities are nourishing or draining?
  • What can you do differently to create a healthier balance?
    • When?
    • How?
    • Who with?
  • What else really nourishes you that you haven’t allowed time for? How can you incorporate more of those actions?

5. Embrace new possibilities


  • We are only limited by our vision of what’s possible.
  • Enthusiasm & openness attracts opportunity.
  • Blessings often arise in unexpected & surprising ways.


  • Affirm who you are and where you want to be.
  • Be willing to take new chances (supported by your hard-earned wisdom).
  • Engage in activities that ignite your passion & enthusiasm.


Welcoming Encouraging Guidance

  1. Visualize a being who is full of compassion and kindness for you (could be a best friend, mentor, loving family member, spiritual guide or imaginary fairy godmother.
  2. Imagine that this being is bubbling with excitement about what the future holds for you & has some guidance to share.
  3. Take a deep breath & imagine asking them the questions provided, while you remain open to insights that arise.
  • What is most important for me to know now that will help me move forward?
  • How should I connect with and express my passions?
  • How can I expand my connections to create new opportunities?



Kara Coleman, MA SC

Blazing Angel, LLC