Consent With Love – Lesson 2

SynClaire Arthur, M.S.
Mari Morales-Williams, Ph.D.

Summary:
When we hear the word “love” many different things can come up. How often, if ever, have you considered love in the context of consent, coercion, or desire? This lesson is designed to be a starting point of conversation and reflection for Black mothers and daughters to deepen their thinking of enthusiastic consent, coercion, and desire.

Objectives:

  1. Mothers and daughters (12 and up) will be able to define and understand key terms such as consent, rape culture, victim-blaming, and how they exist in the real world.
  2. Increased confidence/comfort in having conversations about consent and reflecting about personal experiences with consent/body autonomy.
  3. Increased ability in identifying indicators of healthy love.

Activity 1: Read over the definitions together and put them into your own words. Watch the videos associated with the terms and consider the following discussion questions:

  • How does this video help you to think about the terms in your own life?
  • What personal experiences do these terms/videos make me think of? How do they help me to create new or different stories about those experiences?
  • How do these terms/videos help Black girls and women to create fuller definitions of love?

Activity 1 Video Resource Links:

Rape, Consent, and Jollof Rice Video – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FY8VnwldjfI&t=8s

 

Breaking it down, POPPYN – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmRA8DStml0

 

No! Documentary Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRGESU0CuvI

 

How men respond to sexual assault – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DZDzeEb5h8

 

Manipulation tactics – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no7hxwicxiA

 

Activity 2:
Use the infographics as journal prompts where each of you journals for 10 minutes (set a timer) and then share your responses with each other.
Journal Ideas:

  1. Read over the infographic and choose a statement you agree with and write why.
  2. Read over the infographic and create a new statement inspired by what you are reading.
  3. Read over the infographic and write about a specific event/experience that is related to the statement.
  4. What does desire feel like to you? The desire you have for a person? The desire you’ve felt from a person who is romantically interested in you? How does any of these infographics help you to become more curious about desire, consent, and healthy relationships?

Close Out Activity: Write out a commitment to yourselves and to each other based on your discussions. Keep this commitment on a sticky note you will both see (i.e. bathroom mirror, refrigerator door). A sample commitment could be: I commit to holding space for love and self-accountability.