Self Love Massage

By Shesheena Bray

There is so much healing available to us by way of our own hands. Stress and trauma can create distance in the body, making our bodies feel like foreign places, instead of like home. Reconnecting with the body through touch is a great way to tend to self. Think about the love a caregiver gives a baby during a bath. Those precious moments are filled with lots of care and intention, care and intention which in turn, nourishes the baby. What if you gave yourself that same type of care and intention? How might you benefit from some intentional touch and slow down?

Objective 1: Create an intentional moment of pause to explore self-massage
Objective 2: Reconnect with body Objective 3: Move stagnant/blocked energy.

What you will need:

  • Lotion or body butter
  • A hand towel or paper towel
  • Paper
  • Pen


  • Essential oils of your choice
  • Candles/incense
  • Music

Objective 1:
Create intentional space in your schedule for this practice. Consider doing this practice toward the end of your day when you have less on your plate; you will need at least 20 minutes. Create an intentional space in your home to give yourself a massage; find a space that is free of clutter and visually appealing. A little intention can go a long way in creating an inviting space.

Determine what part of your body needs attention. You don’t have to have a license to lay hands on yourself or identify the parts of you that need attention, you are the expert of your body. Slowing down can help you tune into your body’s needs.

Once you are in your intentional space, take 5 minutes to ground yourself. Sit so that you can feel the floor beneath your feet; get tall in your spine; close your eyes or lower your gaze. Bring your awareness to your body and take 3 deep breaths; still your body. Maintaining a steady pace of breathing, turn your awareness toward your body. Notice where there is a lot of sensation ( tightness, heat, constriction, tingling, throbbing, numbness, etc.), consider if this is where you want to massage. You can massage your hands or feet if you are uncomfortable massaging other parts of your body. Once you have identified where on your body you want to massage, return your awareness to your breath. Breathe here for at least 3-4 minutes, keep your awareness on inhales and exhales. Slowly transition into the massage.

Objective 2:
Massage yourself with love and intention. Using your lotion, body butter, and or, essential oil begins to massage your designated body part. Move slowly with intention, use your inhales and exhales to guide your movement. Be methodical, go finger by finger, or toe by toe. Notice the scents of your products. Notice the new sensations that arise in your body as you play with pressure and repetitive strokes. Beware the tendency to “get it right,” focus on giving yourself what feels good instead. Take your time and lean into your own touch. If you notice yourself getting bored, refocus your awareness on your body and try to discover something new there.

Objective 3:
Reflect before you move on. When you have thoroughly massaged yourself, take 3 deep breaths before moving on. Bring your awareness back to your body, notice how you feel. Notice any subtle shifts in your mood.

With your pen and paper, take at least 5 minutes to complete the following reflection prompts:

      1. When I slowed down I noticed……….
      2. My body is asking me for…………
      3. I am……..

Set an intention to revisit this practice.

Hopefully, you felt nourished by our own touch, revisit this practice on purpose as often as you can. If this practice did not feel nourishing, consider what you would do differently should you attempt this practice again.