There is something both freeing and terrifying in that number. One. It’s full of possibility but also the unknown. Uncharted territory. The idea of being at the beginning of something can be paralyzing and at first for me, it was. I left a secure job for a fresh start. What was I thinking?
On day one, I felt like I was standing in front of a controlled burn. Embers of my past floating amongst the smoke and flames turning to ash. What was left behind was a woman without cover. Me.
To keep myself from being consumed by loss and emptiness, I enrolled myself in swim class. For two months, I practiced three skills: floating, kicking, and breathing. My life had become like the water I was trying to navigate. There was no anchor. Nothing for me to hold on to. The only person I could trust was God and me.
In that pool, I learned that letting go was a part of the process. Letting go of all of the things that seemed to anchor me, allowed me to be open to new opportunities. I learned to trust myself.
I took a leap because I knew that my real life, the life that I longed for, was on the other side of fear.
I love the woman I am for choosing freedom over fear.
Float. Kick. Breathe.